If you think that sex and everything surrounding sex was complicated when you were young, just imagine how incredibly complex and sensitive about sex is today. The public opinion on sex is so varied that you just do not know where to turn and what to do (and not to do). When you factor in the social media, the complicated relationships between teens today, it is very clear that sex has become more confusing than ever. So what are you to do as a parent of a teen who is at an age when they are probably about to become sexually active?

Do not scare them

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex and having sex. On the contrary. Sex can be beautiful and it can be the best thing in a person’s life, no matter if they are 17 or if they are 70. It can also be beneficial. There is nothing more potentially harmful for the development of a teenager and the development of their approach to sex than scaring them about it. Their hands will not fall off if they start fooling around with their boyfriend/girlfriend. They will not be zapped by a lightning from the sky if they engage in sex with the person they love.

Inform them of the dangers

That being said, you still need to inform them of the dangers that may be associated with sex. For example, you should ensure that they are aware of sexually transmitted diseases, how they are transmitted, what they can do, etc. Please, before you do so, do some research yourself. It is important that you have all the facts before you start sharing them.

Mother and daughter sat together on sofa

Also, inform your teenager child about the possibilities of unwanted pregnancies and everything that goes along with it – the risks, the biology of it all, the reliable contraceptive methods, etc. They need to know all about contraceptive pills, they need to know about condoms as contraception but also as protection against STIs.

Make sure they understand the emotional consequences

Sex can be confusing and emotionally impactful, especially for young people who are only becoming sexually active. It is therefore important that you also talk to them about the emotional and psychological impact that becoming sexually active can have on their life. They should understand that it is not nothing and that it will be much more pleasurable and beautiful if they do it with someone they care about. Once again, do not scare them with stories how their soul will wither if they have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Do not tell them what to do

The most important thing of all, however, is that you do not start ordering them what to do and what not to do. If you do that, you will produce an opposite effect and they might start engaging in unsafe sexual practices just to spite you. Everything that you talk to them about should be in the form of advice and friendly talk and not in the form of orders and prohibitions. You do not wish to ruin sex for them, do you?

Closing word

Talking to your teenage child about sex is about them and about their future. It is not about you trying to get your point across. If you are not sure of the facts, check them beforehand. Also, remember that sex is a beautiful thing and that they should be able to enjoy it for the rest of their life. Their enjoyment does not need start straight away, but it will not be the end of the world either. Just make sure they stay healthy and safe.